Home Sweet Hobo, Dreamed 3-17-11

I was at an interview for my research thesis. There was one person doing the interview and two people observing. We were at one table and another set of interview people were at the table sitting next to us. Occasionally the interviewers would switch tables from me to the other interviewee. The interview took hours and hours and hours. I went into the bathroom so I could print out a journal article. The paper came out into the toilet.

I walked down a big set of stair into the lobby of a big, expensive private school. My eyes were covered in glitter, Ke$ha style. I was next to someone talking to an old classmate of mine. The classmate was attending medical school. I don't think my classmate recognized me.

I went home to the half of a double I was living in. A hobo was living in the other side of the house. He was sitting on the porch when I got back looking all disheveled and hobo like. Inside of my half, my ex-boyfriend's mom was cooking pans and pans full of mushrooms.

Ballet Suicide, Dreamed 2-17-11

A girl studying ballet at school tried to hang herself in her closet by attaching the other end of the rope to one of the administrators on the other side of the door. She was hoping to take him with her when she dies. I found them both, untied him and took her down from the closet bar. Her belt was attached to a bunch of irons.

Several other ballet students were also trying to commit suicide. One of the guys was really creepy looking. He had bad skin and was wearing ballet shoes.

Out to Sea, Dreamed 2-17-11

My dad was trying to impress a married woman. He took her out on a row boat into the clear tropical ocean. Her husband and I were also in the boat. I was a little boy during this portion of the dream. We were just chatting and hanging out. At one point we filled the boat with water and were churning it up with our oars.

The lady said she wanted to go home. Trying to help my dad impress her, I told her there was a secret stone wall (only a few feet tall) under the water that she could use to walk back to shore. She and her husband started walking back through the ocean on the wall. In the dream, I could see a cool aerial view of the entire length of it. By the time they reached the shore the lady was sun and wind burnt and cranky.

My dad and I (back to my young woman self) were sitting on a dock with a bunch of people. Brittany from Glee was standing near us, looking around. We were related to her but she didn't know. She glanced over at us and told us we looked familiar. Her calves were the size and shape of breasts and her socks were shaped like bras. We had to let her know that we were related by doing some sort of activity with another, distant family member.

Iron Chef College, Dreamed 2-1-11

There was a large group of people who had come to my house to play or watch an Iron Chef type competition. I lived in a typical college town house, a little grungy and a little run down. The entrance fee was $10. One of the spectators tore a $20 bill in half to pay their fee.

All of the pantries and the fridge were fully stocked. To play, each team got a scrap of paper w/ 3 ingredients listed. There was a whole pile of ingredient cards on the table. They had a half an hour to make a dish with their ingredients. My housemate and I were the co-judges. After we had sampled the dishes, the spectators were allowed to try.

The first dish presented was a hoagie roll filled with spaghetti-os with a side of linguine in red sauce. The pasta was entwined with something like looked like purple tinsel. Before the other team presented their dish there was a knock on the front door and a group of clueless, slutty looking girls walked in. They asked us about Jeff's party. I told them Jeff no longer lived in this house and that we were having a cooking competition.

After they left I went back inside. There was another knock on the back door. Another group of people tried to come in because they thought this was Jeff's party. I tried locking the back door. The screen door locked but the main, wooden door didn't fit into the jamb. In the process of trying to get that door shut and locked I ended up ripping the door off the hinges.

The next day Jeff stopped by to apologize. He was a very good looking man. He insisted on making it up to me for last night's inconvenience.